Question.

are you happy?

is it worth it?




...

:)

God rest ye merry gentleman let nothing you dismay,



Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas day,



To save us all from Satan's power when we had gone astray,


Otidings of comfort and joy,


comfort and joy,


O tidings of comfort and joy.

blinded

last night i cried
not because i was bleeding
but because i was broken

i've lived a full life
at least 19 years so far
but i've got a long ways to go


a lot more mistakes
a lot more victories
a lot more memories,

last night i cried.
because i miss people.
i long for them to be back

i miss my Grandma
i miss Kaylie Jean
i miss being with my brothers
i miss Rom and Ev and Corey
i miss Dan
i miss Vocal Point
i missed out on a lot of things
but, i don't regret

i couldn't see most of the time
i always wanted to do do do
when i needed to think think think

now i'm here crying still
wishing to do it right
to try it again
to see if i can't win
but then again

they've all moved on
i'm here,
waiting
missing

my tears block out words
and thoughts and light

i'm blinded and i'm sorry i didn't do it all right.



but life isn't about where you've been!!!!
it's about where you're going!!!
my direction now is straight
it is simple
yet next to impossible
that is why i am on this road now
because the past is what we use to better

the future

fate hope dreams inspiration
words thoughts beings aspirations
these are what life is about

joy laughter looks glances
moments times touches
this is what life is about

'was blind but now i see'

RAWWRRRR

i have not written in a while.

these are my thoughts as of now.



WOW!

that was quick.

really?

GO COUGS!!!!

ahh, that was swick.

music keeps me alive

prayer works

i love music

come on!

Ray Charles


ok.


good night

giving thanks

i don't give enough credit to others. so this blog is to thank all those that have touched me in my life, who have been the 'gardeners of my flower patch' if you will. :)

thank you to all of my friends who have helped me through a hard time, with either a crying shoulder, a firm hand, a gentle caress, or with just encouragement to get me through, thank you:

Julie Garbutt
Corey Mann
Kevin Holcombe
Romney Olsen
Evan Monson
Daniel Crowder
Ariel Johnson
Michael, Scott, and Alan (My brothers)
Amy Sackett
My Parents of course
Kaylie Hancock
Preston Smith
Jessica Leavitt
Jacob Swain
Jason Dodge
Julia McDougal
Elijah Thomas
Chase Ramsey

to all my friends who have been there to laugh at my really stupid jokes and put up with me through thick and thin, who have been there to laugh and make memories with. thank you:

Daniel Crowder
Revacoso Boys (Corey, Skyler, Evan, Jeffy, Romney)
Julie Garbutt
The girls of 304 (Kaylie, Kendra, Katie, Brooke)
Kevin Holcombe
Acting Up Boys especially Chase, Elijah, Ethan, Darren, and Sam
Preston Smith
Chris Grosbeck
Jake Swain
Jake Mortenson
The girls of 63 (Becky, Lana, Hillary, Paige, Lauren)
Ryan Cope
Kristin Latimer
Jessica Leavitt
Laura Dyer
Bryant Shultz
K.C.T.
The girls of 121 (Julia, Elisa, Melissa, Savannah, Nalani)
The Men of Vocal Point! (James, Ariel, Scott, Ben, Micah, Buck, Paul, Chase, JJ)
Wes Henry
Lex Hatch
Whitney Overman
Monique Shurtz
Britney Carlson
Xandra Peterson
Camille Whitacre
Henry Unga
Mallory Keith

and to those that have, in meeting them, created a new world that would never have been discovered had it not been for them. thank you:

Kaylie Jean Hancock
Daniel Crowder
Julie Garbutt
Julia McDougal
Whitney Overman
Ariel Johnson
Kevin Holcombe
Jessica Leavitt
Romney Olsen

you are so wonderful friends! even if none of you ever read this i hope you know how much i care about you!!!! that's not to mention the countless others who have touched my life. thank you thank you for putting up with me with all my shortcomings and fallouts, and for accepting me for who i am. :) i love you all thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much. :)


thank you. :)

Ben Folds = . . .

Stunning!
AMAZING!!
THE BEST !!!

people you seriously don't even know. Ben Folds was amazing. it's late and i'll write more tomorrow but really, holy crap.



ps, he signed my t shirt.
yeah ben folds.
the real guy.
o my.
sigh. . . .

moments

moments are what make up our memories.
reflecting, but not looking back is what we need to do.
this moment will never come again.
there's another moment gone
and another
and, you get the idea. ha!
i just love moments.

how to capture a moment? i don't know, you just do. things happen and you remember. some you want to forget, some you want to re-live and others you just have to have them. but what's the purpose for it all? i don't know....



i also like writing when it doesn't make a lot of sense and you just write whatever comes out of your mind. i miss you. i miss a lot of you's actually. i miss friends that kick me into shape and make me happy. that's what memories are for, for me at least, to help me reflect and do something more with my life. hmmmm...


well that's all i have. hope you are having a great day Eric, I say this because i think i'm mostly the only one who reads this, but i don't mind, just remember what sparked this moment.

sigh.

love.

goodbye America

Obama won.


:(

empty as a drum

i love music, and drums, now i get how it feels to be that empty space being continually beat upon to be a part of something better than itself.

the drums are the heart of a band.

i'm not sure if i have a point to this story because i'm still trying to find one myself. but i guess being empty can still be a good thing. right?


devastating blows to the top of the drum
make music outside creating conundrum
but no one sees the inside of the drum
where the heart loudly cries for someone to come
the musics to loud
empty is the drum
the drum is heart
the music is what makes it beat
can anyone see?


empty as a drum. except my nose is full of snot.

temporary relief

today i had one of those moments of fleeting respite. slight comfort from a deep, healing scar. it was nice. too short, but satisfying. today i had one of those 'movie moments' that you always hope will happen but never do, except it totally did and it was magnificent! sigh...


now my insides are churning; two possible reasons, and i don't think that it was the peach yogurt.

o boy.