i'm left waiting

there are no ordinary moments
everything has it's reason and rhyme
thoughts are what incubate our dreams
i'll wait for those dreams

there are no ordinary moments
every person has their place
finding where your puzzle piece fits;
to discover this, i'll wait

there are no ordinary moments
every movement holds a treasure
buried deep or shallow we still all hunt
buried treasure? i can wait

there are no ordinary moments
a glance can mean a thousand things
love, hope, fear, or questions

i don't want to wait anymore


i want to be out in the field
want to become much better
all i can do for now is kneel
to free me from these fetters
i want to serve and grow and learn
receive and write some letters
but i will wait
i want to find someone to love
to hold and cherish tender
want to become a hero to
my children more than ever
i want something that i can't have
a world that i can't love
but she'll be here when i get back
this love i'll love forever
i can wait for that
i want to be more than myself
beyond what man can handle
to build a scope of breathing life
where only one can hold a candle
to travel at the speed of thought
much faster than us mammals
this i will wait for too


see there are no ordinary moments
though some may still contend
still there are no ordinary moments
we share with family and friends
there are no ordinary moments
none
noda
zip



for these moments i will wait for you
whomever you may be
i'll wait through wind and hail and rain
just you wait and see
i'll become that best that i can be
so maybe you'll agree
when i kneel down and ask you this,
'will you marry me?' :)
for this moment i'll endure
all hellish situations
of loves refrain and much more pain
i'll somehow wait

to share and to create

these not so ordinary moments

*with my eternal mate
that we'll leave up to fate
o, they will be great
i will somehow wait

*these are four alternate endings. :) you choose which one you think fits best i guess.

love love!

Charlie Brown

Just the coolest.


Ever.

music music music!

i love music so much!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!




thank you.

we hit a deer

i have secretly had a dark desire to hit a deer while driving in a car.

it happened.


i was sad.



but then was like DUDE! AHHHHH!!!! COOOLLL!!! hat me if you must, but it was one of those things that just doesn't happen to people you know. i'm glad nothing happened to the car and the deer got up and briskly jumped away, so everything is still cool between me and nature. :)


thank you kevin and daddy holcombe for taking me golfing and for letting me fulfill this secret desire of mine. i now want no more to do with deer's and the hitting thereof.

Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell. ~Emily Dickinson, "Parting"

playlist

Let me preface this by saying that music is a big indicator of my mood, and it really affects how I feel.


k, so i was driving today i noticed that all the songs that were coming on fit my mood exactly and then dictated how I felt. . .if that makes sense. Anyways it was so profound to how i'm feeling right now that I wrote all of them down. This is on shuffle out of 3467 songs:

Stardust - Michael Buble......i kinda cheated on this one cuz i picked it but it set the tone if you will. ha!
Sunshine = Love - Eric Sackett
What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts
Someday - John Legend
It Had to Be You - Frank Sinatra
A Kiss to Build A Dream On - Louis Armstrong
I'd Give You the Moon - Jake Coco
Call Me Irresponsible - Michael Buble
Sweetest Goodbye - Maroon Five
My Life - Billy Joel
Lost - Michael Buble
Tell Her About It - Billy Joel
Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon Five
Nothing Lasts Forever - Maroon Five
He Don't Love You Like I Love You - Daniel Beddingfield
Color Spectrum Song - Disney


anyways, i thought it was very poignant and melancholy, but also cheerful and nostalgic (ps i would have never known that word if it hadn't been for kaylie hancock and brooke beecher thanks girls :)) it was just super uper crazy and totally legit, somewhat ridiculous how close it was to how i currently feel. wow. well hugz and kisses world can't wait to see what comes next.

ps i truly love music and cannot wait to record my CD next week woot woot! :)

the past little while...

Eric Sackett
Student Development 110
Journal #3

Well my life saga continues as I pursue to get a degree here a BYU. It has been a rough couple of weeks for me, as well as everyone else I’m sure. There has also been a lot of good that has gone on amidst all of the turmoil, I got to go on a cruise, I’ve reconnected with a lot of old friends, and I’ve learned priceless lessons I’ll carry with me as long as I shall live.
One of these lessons is the importance of holding my tongue, Proverbs 29:11 states; “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” This is something I do not do nearly enough of. I’ve always been one to speak my mind and let people know how I feel about things, after all I am a very extroverted person ☺, but lately, I’ve learned that refraining from speech is sometimes more powerful that uttering well though out words. There is a reason for everything. That is a fact no one can dispute, because having no purpose in something is still a reason of doing something. I’ve learned that being humble and patient through trails offers happy results, and jumping to conclusions injures and angers. If you haven’t found this out already I’m the former part of that scripture above, I tend to jump to conclusions and hurt the dearest of friends as well as other people I’ve barely met, although I won’t apologize for showing feeling I need to work on mediation in expressing my emotions.
Speaking of emotions, I tend to get really emotional at not so very emotional things, for example, on the plane back from Florida (coming back from my ever so delightful cruise) there was an in-flight movie. It was ‘Cinderella Man’. It really made me want to be the best dad in the whole wide world. The main character, James J. Braddock was a big fighter before the depression and once the economy dropped out, so did he. It’s a story of the struggle he has trying to provide for his family and stay alive, it is inspiring story, and for me one that shows the real love of a father, and the lengths that he goes to make sure his family is safe and warm and fed. I cried through most of it. I’m emotional, but I’m so excited to be a Dad.
Parents. Tough to deal with as a teenager, move out, that is the best solution in my mind. Parents always want the best for their kids and they sometimes tend to show it with a lot of negative reinforcement. Not in every situation mind you, but in my case, my parents tend to show their loves in different ways then flowers and WAY TO GO stickers. They always expect the best out of me, which they should, the way I go about handling it sometimes is juvenile. But I’m learning to cope with is, and that is what it is important.
I’m learning that the most important things in life aren’t things, they are people, and maintaining friendships and trust between others we interact with. This class has made me organize my life a lot, and think more about where my focus is being put. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how the best thing that I can do to get over my problems is to serve others and stop thinking about myself and how hard everything is for me right now and everything going wrong in my life. There is always someone worse off.
Things can always get worse. But they’re more likely to get better. ☺

tuesday

Just a peek at Neverland. This is where I go when I'm lost and alone. No one has to grow up here, it's Neverland.

o tuesday...

'might'

might |MAHYT|

1 past of MAY
- in reported speech, expressing possibility or permission: he said he might be late.
- expressing a possibility based on a condition not fulfilled: we might have won if we'd played better.
- expressing annoyance about something someone has done: you might have told me!
- expressing purpose: he avoided social work engagements so that he might work.
2 used in questions and requests
- tentatively asking permission: might I ask one question?
- expressing a polite request: you might just call me Jane, if you don't mind.
- asking for information esp. condescendingly: and who might you be?
3 expressing possibility: this might be true.
- making a suggestion: you might try nonprescription pain relievers.

PHRASES
might as well 1 used to make an unenthusiastic suggestion: I might as well begin. 2 used to indicate that a situation is the same as if the hypothetical thing stated were true: for readers seeking illumination, this book might as well have been written in Serbo-Croatian
might have known (or guessed) used to express ones lack of surprise about something: I might have known it was you.

1	physical strength: He swung with all his might.

2 superior power or strength; force: the theory that might makes right.

3

power or ability to do or accomplish; capacity: the might of the ballot box.

- D&C 1:18-39 -


Things that are planned might happen, they might not, it all depends on what and how we choose to live. Somethings might happen today, tomorrow, or never, but things will happen. You might not win a million dollars today or save the world from grief and heartache, but you might be able to help one person feel like a million dollars and save them from their world of grief and heartache. You might be struck by lighting and die today, and be scared half to death, and maybe your homework really will kill you, but those things just might happen. What do you want to MAKE happen today?

Do it.



i wrote a new song, today, horray!

A Knight's Tale

'It is strange to think I haven't seen you since a month, I have seen the new moon, but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises but nothing of your beautiful face. The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle. I miss you like the sun misses the flower, like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct it's life to, the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to. I next compete in the city of Paris, I will find it empty and in the winter if you are not there. Hope guides me. It is what gets me through the day and especially the night. The hope that after you're gone from my sight it will not be the last time i look upon you.'

With all the love that I possess, I remain yours -
the knight of your heart




this is currently my favorite *monologue from a movie


*It's not really a monologue because it is a group of friends writing a letter, but i say it is, so it it. :)

only monday

it's only Monday?....



poop.

all at sea

what and incredible trip!!!! all the food you want, all the time in the world to waste, and enough sun to soak for weeks. i would definitely recommend going on a cruise. it was so amazing. snorkeling with 1000's of fish, eating deluxe food all day, and doing whatever you want, whenever you want, and however you want. i wish i could explain this better.


a;osihas;oigzoxigjl;kh;aiuysd;oigfhjalsidufha;owiejfao;isud;flkmzjngionzlmckvhlnxkcjh;lasimdfuiosdfumoixdlhjlishm;aofdmsoifamsd;oif


that's how amazing it was.




i love getting tan. :)

Standby

WOW! After 15 hours of trains, planes, and automobiles I finally made it home.

Friday 10:00:
We, being my family and friend Kevin, woke up today saddened by the fact that our amazing wonderful adventurous cruise had come to an end. After exiting the ship we headed to our shuttle and waited for 30 min before heading to the airport to check in. My Dad, Mom, and brother Scott got on their flights that they had purchased earlier, but Kevin, Mike, Cheltz, and I were flying standby, and this is where our adventure begins.
Friday 11:30:
Made it through security fine, got to our gate to wait. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 2:30. After sitting for about an hour we found out that all the seats were taken and that we were not going to get out of Miami anytime today. So, we we told our best bet would be to get to South Palm Beach by taking the '40' min train. We walked across the airport to catch the bus that would take us to the train, then got our tickets and barely settled in before we left the station. The ride ended up being and HOUR and '40' min, a little longer than we wanted, especially because the flight we were trying to get on left at 2:40.
Friday 2:30:
Yeah, we missed our flight and the bus to take us to the airport. We waited and waited finally arriving at the airport to get on our flight at 5:15. Luckily there were enough seats to accommodate all of us. HORRAY right? Well, this flight was to Charlotte, NC. Awesome.
Friday 6:36:
Landed in NC and figured out where and when our next flight would leave. 8:05 - Delayed. We were the last four to get on. The flight left an hour late so we flew in to Phoenix at around 10:30 (there was a three hour time change but it was a 5 hour flight). So we drove to and stayed at my sister-in-laws house that night after a delightful relaxing hot tub sitting.
Saturday 10:00
Good sleep, ate breakfast, showered, packed up, drove to the airport, checked in, got through security, got to our gate, waited, boarded at 1:40, landed in SLC at 4:00, drove home, ate, now I'm sitting on my couch, in my home.


I'm tired.


don't fly standby.

rare

speedometers that look like this are very rare indeed. they only happen once you know, you have to be in the moment to capture it though. and luckily, someone special had a camera at the exact time it was 'rare', or a moment that will never happen again. GLORIOUS!!!! moments only happen once, what have you made out of those moments? i hope they are happy ones... live life as it comes, i hope this moment can happen again, and i'll be the one with the camera taking the picture. then this moment can once again occur.

i wish i could have been there, i wish i was there now.

i love memories, cuz they never stop!

you always can have more.

can we have more?

just once

rare



:]

'Our crusing altitude...'

What a great grand and glorious day! I spent the morning getting called back for choir in the upcoming show 'Christmas Carol' @ the Hale Center, and it was good. Then I went home and packed and immediately departed for the SLC airport where I boarded a plane, with my good friend Kevin, and flew to Chicago and then ended up in Miami. We were picked up by a really awesome dude that dropped us off @ Denny's. The food was fast and super delicious. Now I'm with my friend in a Marriot awaiting that sweet idea of sleep...

ahhh...

what a beautiful day.

ps it's raining, the warm rain, the kind i like.
pss i had another thought but it left me.

hmmm...o yeah, so i'm totally going on a cruise in two days, well tomorrow now. . . :) horray!!!


:]

another day

I woke up, late.
Drove down to Provo.
Was tutored by Katie. (Thank you Katie)
Studied @ the Enclave room #304, Kendra thought I was Katie.
Went to class at 12:43, BOM.
Learned, or more listened to Isaiah and the 2 Nephi Chapters.
Departed class, obtained The Daily Planet, failed Sudoku while walking back to my car.
Drove to Burger King, Wopper Jr., Fries, and a Side Salad.
Parked and sang sappy love songs as I devoured my food.
Sped to the Holcombe's to sing and play piano for the Grandparents, HIGHLIGHT!
Cruised home to be to work by 4.
Sang and improved with the kids I teach.
6 o'clock came, class was over, parking lot duty.
Headed over to a 'Birthday Party' at the park, 3 people showed up.
Dropped the party people off at their destinations.
Went home, argued with my parents over whether or not I should do a show.
Met up with Julie and Wes, reminisced.
Auditioned, did well.
Saw Janessa Lamb.
Wearily drove home to an angry household. No flights. No money.
My amazing mother put together the 'show' Scott and I are singing tomorrow.
Practiced.
Sat down on the couch.
Cried.
Wrote a blog.

Predicted future:

Mosey on downstairs.
Brush my teeth.
Say my prayers.
Try to sleep.
Text.
Fall asleep.
.
.
.
.

Start all over again.

WHO AM I.....24601!!!!!

Not really, but in my Student Development class we took a test that is fairly accurate on our personalities. I came out to be an ENFP (Extroverted; Intuitive; Feeling; Perceiving) It's a really interesting test and you learn and you're reaffirmed of a lot of the things you know about yourself, and new little tid-bits of interest as well. Here are my results:

http://typelogic.com/enfp.html

If you want to take the test yourself it's short and easy yes or no ?'s.

www.humanmetrics.com

Check it out. :)

'The Best Is Yet To Be'

I would like to preface this note by thanking my dear friends Claire and Kendra for inspiring me to write my thought about conference. Thank you dear friends, glad to hear you're doing well. :)

Jesus will make everything alright, that was possibly my favorite thing that was said in this last Conference. Elder Anderson was the 4th person to speak on Saturday morning and he told a story of a little girl who was born deaf and as she grew up her parents taught her how to speak. It was a grueling process that at times seemed impossible, but eventually she started to learn and was able to put sentences together. One day while Emma (I think this was her name) and her Mother were waiting for the cashier to ring them up at the grocery store, the little girl noticed a boy behind them that was in a wheelchair and didn't have any legs, although Emma had learned to speak, she couldn't control the volume of her voice and asked her Mother, "why doesn't that boy have any legs?" Her Mother gently replied that that is the way God made him. She turned to the little boy and stated, "When I was born I couldn't speak, when you were born God made you without any legs, but that's what makes you special. Don't worry, Jesus will make everything alright."

These impactful words touch my heart and gave me peace in the reality and assurance that Jesus will make everything alright. These past couple months have been really tough for me. Although I have a plethora (yes I totally used that word) of friends, I've felt really alone and distraught, almost depressed. Conference brought back that much needed confidence that I have been lacking as of late. "Faith is not a feeling, it is a decision" (Elder Anderson Oct 2008 GC) I was waiting for this big event happen in my life. Waiting for someone to come pick me up, or to tell me what to do, waiting for that feeling of knowing the choice you are making is the right one to be making. But, it doesn't work like that, we have to decide and God will let us know if it's right, eventually, because "Faith and fear cannot co-exist in the heart at the same time" (Elder Anderson Oct 2008 GC)

"Faith is one leg of a three legged stool of Faith, Hope, and Charity. We must find the balance...Despair is used to suffocate darkness. It kills ambition, and deadens the heart while hope pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. What is hope? The hope of Israel, hope is not knowledge it is believing and expecting our prayers will be answered. With hope come joy and happiness and to have patience with our trials." (President Uchdorf Oct 2008 GC) WHAT INSPIRED MEN!!! What I love about General Conference is that you feel, at least I feel, like they are speaking directly to me. See that's what's so universal and awesome about the Spirit, one thing can be being said, but a thousand things can be taught! President Uchdorf also said, "Faith is a fundamental foundation we must build upon. Put faith and hope into action!" I think we are always being told what to do, it's just if we are listening or not.

I also loved the steadfast and immovable Elder Wirthlin and his joy filled talk of "Come What May and Love It". Laughter is the very best medicine. President Monson inspired us with his great words at the Priesthood session:
1- Learn what you can learn
2- Do what we should do
3- Be what we should be
It's really that simple. Another talk that was awe-inspiring was President Uchdorf's "Lift Where You Stand", I would urge you to read it Sisters and those Brothers that weren't able to make it.

Conference was just what I need to "lift up my head and be of good cheer" (3 Nephi 1:13) The Church of Jesus Christ is the only true and living church on the face of the earth today, and I'm a part of it! It is true! HE LIVES!

I will end with President Monson's words; "This is our one and only chance to live here and now. It helps us distinguish what is most important in the future. Find joy in the journey. There is no tomorrow to remember if we don't do anything today...childhood doesn't come back...make the most of today to provide pleasant future memories. Remember, 'they do not love that do not show their love'. Let us relish life as we live it!"

The best is yet to be. :)

fall

i fell in love once
it ironically was in Fall
last Fall to be exact
i didn't know it til the spring
but fall i did, for you.

gravity was not the reason
neither was the iron wall
not the leaves from off the trees
but it was her, the Wendy Darling
o i did but fall.

change comes with fall
so do the bandaids
colors, skies, and rain
change can be hard but also beautiful
o what a lovely change.

it may hurt
for days
weeks
years
or lifetimes

but hope comes with all this

for spring will come
and buds will grow
and back will come the bliss

for i did fall good and long
i jumped, and you were there
you opened up your embrace
and caught me in your arms
o yes, i fell.

at times we landed and it hurt
but tears were there to heal
the times we flew can't be compared
although they sometimes will
because we, were happy there
that place of lingering bliss
our happy thoughts lifted us up
to heights we'll always miss

so every tuesday that i can
i'll fly there to that place
i'll think a happy thought of you
maybe in my embrace
or maybe of the change that came
or maybe of the stars
but i'll be there to escape
the deepness of the scars

now seasons change
and so do the years
but one thing still remains
i will always think of you,
although there still is pain,
the love and joy brought through it all
is worth it, waiting in the rain.

fall will come and go, not stay
and so it is with change
we just must endure to the end
that we can arrange.

i fell for you
that fateful Fall
my life was changed
just as the leaves
just as the trees
my heart
my love
my all

nothing much

Today was a pretty blah day. It started out with me realizing I had fallen asleep, fully clothed and upside down still wearing what I had worn all day, and the light was on. UGH! Then I got up and did some house work and homework. Followed by a round of golf with my parents and grandpa up in Sandy, in which I did very poorly at, getting a 43 which is decent for not playing golf day in and day out but still a sad score for golf. Next I drove home eagerly awaiting the viewing of the BYU game which was so conveniently on KJAZZ, but remembering that I had a frisbee game that I wanted to play in. I proceeded to get ready for the game and at approximately 5:49, got in my newly purchased car, and just as I was turning the ignition I received a phone call informing me the game was canceled. Great day so far. So I went back inside to do that which I had previously designed to do, watch the annihilation of Utah State, but to my dismay, BYU did not provide the blowout that was expected. BYU took a commanding 27 point lead early but fought it's way to stay afloat as Utah State late in the game took it to the defense scoring the first points against the cougs in 11 quarters. The game ended in a 34-14 win for the Cougs, but it was a disappointing showing of what BYU can really do.

So now I'm studying, after a day of a lot of little and light disappointments.

*sigh*

And the day isn't even over. I still have two hours to see what other fun adventures are in store for me this lonely Friday night.

It's Friday night, and I'm at home writing a blog, postponing my study, eating kettle corn with my parents who are arguing over who should answer the phone.

*sigh*

yeah...

*sigh*

that's what friends are for.

Greater love hath no man than this, than a man lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:13

a shoulder to cry on
a body to hug

a person to be with

'When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement (to be deprived of a love one) ((for those of you like me who don't get big words)) :) .. who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
- Anonymous

an ear to listen
a heart to touch
and hands to help

'The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention...A loving silence often hast far more power to heal and connect than the most well-intentioned words.'
- Rachel Naomi Remen

a friend to laugh with
a voice to calm
some joy to share

'If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth.'
- Mitsugi Saotome

so thank you friends
for being there for me
in my darkest hours of despair

'It is one of the blessing of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.' - Anonymous

'Old wood is best to burn, old books best to read, old wine best to drink, and old trusty friends best to laugh with'
- Anonymous







'The hero is one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by'
- Felix Alder


i'm glad i have those.
:)